Cant make lemonade out of this lemon

Anyone want to give me a van? I wouldn’t mind. And you could have my piece of rubbish Kia Sportage in exchange. I actually used ot have a van. It was a lovely van. And it drove so well. Especially once we got the push button starter put in. Yes the front was a tad messed up from where it jumped into a gate (totally not my fault as I wasn’t technically inside the van when  it happened), and it smelled like the hundred or so Dogs that I had transported in it on the walks I used to do. But I loved being so much higher up off the ground, like a queen of the road when I was driving it 🙂 So why did I give it up you ask when I clearly loved it so much? Well, as much as I adored it, I was a moving target for all the bad drivers that were on the road whenever I was. The amount of near misses from other cars, trucks, and even buses, when I don’t understand how they could have possibly missed me since I was giant and white (long wheel base van that Big Burtha was. Yes she had a name). But invisible I was. And considering that maniacs that I inevitably came across on our voyages out and about, I logically thought that something with back seats would be far safer for my young AsperBoy to travel in then being in the front seat of a van that obviously had a massive red target painted on it that only other drivers could see. So after having it up for sale for a almost a year, I finally found a buyer. But I had to get the front fixed first of it would pass the road worthy inspection. Then I had to find a new car for myself. I had trolled the net trying to find something that was still high enough up of the ground so I didn’t feel like I could drive under other cars. I don’t understand how anyone can like being that low to the ground (ironically im not fond of heights). And I needed something that was roomy enough for my long legs, and for the AsperBoy and my Dogs. I had been looking at Rav 4’s. But everything I looked at was too out of my price range or was wasn’t even worth looking at. Then I stumbled across a pretty neat looking Kia Sportage. White with a paint swirl down the side. It had the spare tyre on the back door, a bull bar, roof racks, and from the looks of it, had been looked after and garaged. From the add, everything worked, cd player, air con etc. So up we went for a test drive. It needed some stuff done to it. The air con looed like it needed re-gassing, the struts on the boots needed fixing, all seemingly small stuff. We made the whole show of “thinking” seriously about it. Rubbing our chins in thoughtful contemplation. And we made out offer, which was under the proviso that the things we listed would be fixed before purchase. The guy did his thing, walking into the office in the guise of “talking” to his boss about it. Coming back out, head down cast he said, “well, the boss isn’t happy, its a big cut on our profits (yadda yadda) but he’ll accept it. Naturally we contained our joy while the soon to be Hubby shook hands with the car salesman. All the while this niggling little thought in my head of “he took that off WAY too quickly. And a couple weeks later it was ll too apparent why. The amount of things wrong with the car piled up rather quickly. The smell from the engine if you went up a hill. The fact that they hadn’t gone near the air conditioner at all, the boot would fall on your head in cold or wet weather. It clunked going over any little bump, the back tyres were constantly deflating, the doors wouldn’t shut unless you slammed them. It would stop for no apparent reason at all. Then the dash lights went (so I couldn’t see how fast I was driving at night on the very rare occasions I actually drove at night), the check engine light went on and wouldn’t go back off again, the tail lights went, and if you press the button on the key ring to lock the car, it would make a grinding noise before unlocking again (over and over and over and over and over and over again, layer upon layer upon layer ad nauseum  till in a melt down I threw the keys and they broke so I had to put them back together again. Thankfully it still “works”) which doesn’t matter anyway because if you cant push the button before attempting to start the engine (stupid security switch) it wont go anyway. We got the clunking sorted out. Turned out to be the idle arm on the left front side. The back tyres had had three huge nails in them the while time id had the car (The car yard had their own mechanic that was able to issue road worthy certificates. Yes, that is how they managed to sell it). So that was fixed with little tubes. No more deflating tyres. Its driving better. But the rest of things wrong with it still need addressing. Its off to the auto electrician on Thursday to see it the door locking can be fixed, the security switch, the tail and park and dash lights can be fixed……..sigh.

I really want another van. If had been able to find another one with back seats at the time instead of getting this piece of rubbish im now stuck with (no I cant trade it in as I wouldn’t be able to come up with the money to add to getting a new van) I would have in a second. But I couldn’t.  So now I dream of a van with back seats, air con that works, a cd player that works and on which you can turn the volume down so you don’t go deaf from turning it on. Where you shut a door gently with out having to slam it. Where, if you open the boot you aren’t in danger of getting a concussion. And where if your out somewhere, you KNOW it will start so you can get back home again. A van that we can drive to Melbourne in when we go so there will be plenty of room to move and pack all our stuff in (you know how Aspies travel. Inclu

All I can do is plead blonde moment when I bought that Kia. No offense to blondes. Im allowed to use blonde jokes because I was one once.

So……anyone want to buy me a new van?

2 thoughts on “Cant make lemonade out of this lemon

  1. After we got to know a fabulously quirky old man who lives in a van, I’v wanted one myself. Such useful vehicles they are. But right now, I cannot even afford a child’s bicycle, so that will have to be on the Wish List, the kind of “When I Grow Up I Want to Buy a Van” sort of dream. Good luck with your van! xo


  2. Thanks 🙂 Doubtful I will get a new one. I cant afford it either. Sucks being on a pension sometimes. My absolute dream car is a Jeep Wrangler. I don’t care if they are fuel guzzlers. I LOVE them! So big and chunky 😀


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