Ruminating and musing on my day.

Me when I was blonde, with AsperBoy

Spankin in his suit

In thoughtful contemplation

Live long and prosper

All rugged up inside. Cardi on with furry hood puled up over my head. Fingerless gloves on and long trakkie pants. Yep. I’m still cold. Its cold in the house. But I’m not prepared to go outside and sit in the sun. The light would end up bothering me and causing me to have bad eye strain. Which I also get inside the house, though not as intense as it would outside. Two more weeks and I get the Irlen Lenses. Which will hopefully make the light not cause as mush discomfort and pain for me and more. The price of hyper senses.

These hyper senses I look at as being both a blessing and a curse. Curse with the amount of trouble they cause. Making it hard for me be out in the world more than it would be just with my Asperger’s. Having to combat smells, light, sound, people getting too close and bumping into me, crowds, screaming and tantruming (yes I know that not all kids you see are just brats having a tantrum. Sometimes it can be a kid on the spectrum having a melt down). Plus I feel the temperature more. Hot and cold are more extreme. I cant handle being hot at all. And being cold makes me tense up so much I can get a panic attack. On the blessing side, I love being able to notice things that most NTs wouldn’t. Being able to smell things they wouldn’t. Hear things they wouldn’t. Of course with my being able to hear everything I mostly cant distinguish one noise from another. So picking up languages is hard as I’m hearing all the words at once. Id love to learn a language though. But maybe from a book and have someone who knows it to give me the right pronunciation. I would have to say that I don’t hate being Aspergian. And I do everything I can to help AsperBoy to not hate it too. Sometimes when he is frustrated he will say things like “I hate Autism”, or “I  wish I wasn’t Aspie”. But that  usually comes after he has had a bad day at school, or he is frustrated that he cant eat (he is gluten/casein free) what the other kids eat. So I remind him that he never misses out on anything. He still gets ice cream, cup cakes, chocolate etc. And so nice you wouldn’t know it was gluten and dairy free. And then I tell him that Autism doesn’t make him less. It makes him unique in his own way, just like everyone is unique in their own way, whether they are Aspergian or not. And it doesn’t make him stupid either. Some things may be harder for us then for NTs. We don’t come preprogramed with social cues and how to handle the NT word like they do. But it doesn’t mean that we cant pick it up. We may have sensory issues, but we have more appreciation for the little things that we see and feel. I tell him how smart and creative he is. How great it is that he is always coming up with ideas for inventions (yes most of what he comes up with has already been invented but he doesn’t know that when he’s thinking of it), how artistic he is.  These talks always help him to remember that we are all special in our own way too. And that no matter what, I am always there for him to help him when he is down. They also help to remind me that despite the troubles I have, I also have a lot of blessing to be thankful for.

But for now I’m going to enjoy my quiet day to myself. Just the Dogs and I. Only thing to go out for is a quick trip to the dvd shop to pick something up for my Mum and I to watch tonight. Hubby is off to watch the state of origin with some friends. Which is fine with me. Football makes no logical sense to me what so ever. And I hate watching it. But then most sports makes no sense me. What it is with games like golf? or tennis? No! I better not go there. I wont be able to stop, ha-ha. But I cant really complain. I’m a sci fi geek and I’m pretty sure that most of what I like makes no sense to him either. Another thing to be thankful for, is that AsperBoy is just like me when it comes to sci fi. And reading. But right now, I think id better get me off to yonder dvd shop before I get too comfy.