How do you handle sudden changes? Myself, I don’t handle them well. Even what would be seemingly simple to a Neurotypical, can be outstandingly humungous for an Aspergian. The day didn’t start off well. Waking up to full body cramping mostly focused in my back and radiating outward, is becoming all to frequent. Restless sleeping with tossing and turning and more pain. I prefer to sleep with white noise in the background as it helps me to sleep better. But having a fan on in winter is not the best idea. Way too cold for that. So I hear every noise, every breath from the Hubby sleeping beside me. The sound of AsperBoy talking in his sleep from the other side of the house. All coalesces into a cacoon of noise that prevents me from getting any of the rest my body needs.
So grateful had two cups of coffee this morning.
The dang car with its myriad of problems, failed to start for me, so I found myself stuck outside AsperBoy’s school for 30 minutes till I could get the remote to work, enabling me to push the button that would kill the kill switch so I could start the blasted thing. So its off to the mechanics again this week to have the kill switch deactivated. I’m beginning to think its a waste of precious time. I would rather have a new car. Id rather have my dream car, but that one is to stay in my dreams. mmmmmm Jeeps.
So once I was home, I set about to take care of things that I needed to take care of here. Pre-study done, Tablet research done. The preliminary list for the Melbourne trip done. Dog vomit cleaned up (thanks Kobash). Then I get a call that upsets the lunch time routine. Trying very hard to let it go. Things will happen sometimes. Things that I cant control. But I still cant help the negative feelings, the agitation, the GAHHHHH. Just from a mucked up lunch. Ridiculous yes? Yes. Missing out on lunch time coffee. But glad I did have the two for breakfast. Its all routines. Messed up routines that cause the agitation. I cant help it. No matter how much I try to reason with myself, tell myself that I’m being ridiculous, the Aspie in me takes over and I find myself bordering on a melt down. Trying to find alternatives. Thinking I need to have backups in case of emergencies.
Slowly trying to implement the ideas from the Asperger book I read. Trying to get myself more organized. Its a mammoth job I know. But I know that If I can do it, then I can be a better example for AsperBoy too.
Sleeping Dogs on the mattress on the floor beside me. Nova gets up to have a stretch. Cracking bones, turning turning. Settling, and a big groaning sigh as she lays back down. Kobash meanwhile sleeping through, flickering eyelids as he dreams. I wonder what he is dreaming about? Playing chasing with the other dogs at the park? Or chasing a reluctant Nova as she runs away from him? Poor Nova. She cant even pee without him trying to play with her. Yes I’m laughing.
Hopefully the rest of the week will go according to plan. Big Thursday as usual. Then the blonding on Friday. Coming up with ideas for AsperBoy and I while he is on school holidays.
Changes? No. I really don’t like changes.