Its been a while.


I have been a busy girl. Its been so long since I blogged and I’ve yearned for the feeling of unloading all the jumble of words that swirl around in my brain crashing into eachother in their deparate attempt of freedom from my skull. But tempus fugid and one day blurs into the next and wam bam thank you mam time as royaly screwed us all over, and, what we thought we had time for we don’t because time is not the concept we once thought it was. But maybe thats just me getting older.
This year alone has been enormously huge with so much jam packed, I don’t really want that kind of action please, action, that as soon as I turn around another three have gone past leaving me wondering if I’m stuck in a demented matrix. The beginning of the year started off with me finally acheiving my dream of being able to home school my son. Something I have been working towards for 2 years.
Then my cat then started his downward spiral. But I’m not ready to talk about that yet.
Another event was starting up our new business. I wanted to find something to help out my family. Being on a pension in this day and age is incredibly difficult. Everthing goes up, but your pay. So when you are struggling to buy enough food to last a week because of the cost of living, you need to find a way to get more money.
Quite by accident the idea popped into my head. With input from others in the service dog community Kobash Mats. By Elle was born ( I now make custom, one of a kind mats for Assistance/Service Dogs, Pets and Babies. And I only make one of each kind so each person has a one of a kind mat that no one else has.
Its been incredibly difficult to get this started. Espcially when you can’t get a loan to help you set up. And verifying my website through bing has been a nightmare. The people with bing are so massively hard to speak to. They don’t understand anything you are saying and only repeat themselve with the same advice suggestions you’ve already told them don’t work a million times. And to top it all off I signed up to run an ad with a $100 vouchure I was sent through bing for poeple to find my website through searches. Which has completely messed up my being found with searches on google. Once the budget for the day is gone no one can find me. And once the entire coupon is used up no one will every be able to find me again. To make it worse, I am right now speaking in a live chat with someone from bing about this, and all he wants is for me is to top up budget so the ad can keep running. Ive done everything but speak in portuguese to him and he can’t seem to grasp the fact that I want to cancel everything and go back to where I was before. When I could type in one of my search words and have Kobash Mats come up in the search. I am right now asking to speak to someone who is charge and still he keeps running me in cirlces.
Still wants me to top up my budget. Not even my saying that within the next 1-2 I will have to pay for a cremation has stopped him. And no, I wasn’t lying about that.
But like I said, I’m not ready to talk about that yet.
Life keeps moving on. Everything changes. Too much changes. And as soon as I come to terms with one of them, another smacks me upside the head and sends me spinning. But enduring changes as an Autistic person is part and parcel of living on this planet. And even in the Autism world things are changing. Moving away from the whole “spectrum” mentality. No more “on the spectrum”. Now, I am Autistic. Getting rid of terms that give the wrong impression of being Autistic. That just because you see us as being “high functioning” doesn’t mean we see ourselves in that way. We each deal with, and handle things completely differently from the next Autistic person.
It is a slow moving smail of progress, but we will get there too I’m sure.

But as of right now, I need a Gilmore Girls sized infusion of caffeine and someone to come jump start my brain.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s